I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
