it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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