I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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