she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Randomize
