I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
