Need sex. Gaining weight.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
