She is in my trunk
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
