how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
