We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
nutella sex= disaster
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
