wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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