1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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