Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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