I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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