I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
