She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
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So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
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i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
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