Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
