After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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