my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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