I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
