in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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