Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
