batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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