You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
