I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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