from now on my penis is your penis
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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