i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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