hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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