Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's never too late to be topless.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
