I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
