Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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