yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
