So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
