Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize