Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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