I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
