her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
