I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
