Sry I called you an 8
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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