Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
