new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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