I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize