Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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