Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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