Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
