I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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