I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
