I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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