Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
