Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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