Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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