i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Less talking, more tequila
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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