just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
