evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
