The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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