When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize