Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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