Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
