My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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